driving like a Frenchman

Tim often maintains that I drive like a Frenchman while on London roads - note, Frenchman. Every culture has its own version of what it means to be 'macho'; us Brits down pints to prove we're hard, Americans watch sports, Italians flirt with their mates' girlfriends, but the French...they can seem a little 'girly' to us, what with their skinny bodies, manbags, kissing on cheeks, constant grooming and aversion to physical exercise (unless it's petanque)...or as the stereotype would have you believe!

But on the road, wow, it's as if they've been given a shot of testosterone as soon as they park their bums in the driving seat.  They'll weave in and out of lanes, aggressively honk their horns with abandon if you so much as hesitate at a red light and play their music loud.  Really loud.  Frankly I wasn't surprised I heard so many ambulance sirens during my stay.

Hence the prospect of driving...on the other side of the road...on the autoroute...right into Germany...on the autobahn...with no speed limits...with all the crazy Frenchmen...was utterly terrifying.

So of course I had to give it a go.  I'd driven in the States with all the mental traffic of Los Angeles, how bad could it be?  We were en route to Europa Park in Germany (just across the border, a mere 40 minute drive away).  So with no sat-nav, with a non-driver in the front seat with me we set off in a Toyota Previa (which felt a bit like steering a cruise ship, bearing in mind I usually drive a zippy Ford KA).

Getting the hang of turning right at a roundabout was challenging, leading to a few casual near death experiences along the way but hey, grasped it in the end!  What I found most interesting was the sharp contrast between the manic, aggressive French driver and the obedient, reliable German one.  Every other car was a Mercedes Benz, Audi or BMW - but instead of the show-off Jeremy Clarkson wannabes you encounter on any British motorway who thinks driving one magically transforms him into the Stig on a racing track - the German drivers never tailgated, nor sped up rapidly, nor undertook.  They had all the diligence and respect as a learner driver on test day - but with confidence.  It was actually a really lovely experience, not once did I feel hurried up or harassed.  Gotta love sensible Germans!